About Wise Wives

I couldn't help starting Wise Wives because recently I started to learn how to be a wise wife and it has been such an enlightening and life changing journey that has helped my relatively young marriage. So much that I wanted to pay it forward to anyone else who can benefit.

I work as a book publisher. My degree in journalism has led me to write over 100 published articles, work for websites like Degreeamerica.com, Examiner.com, Patch.com, and edit several Islamic books.
As any journalist would know, research is a major part of the job. I am good at researching and finding credible information simply because all my writing and editing work requires me to do a lot of it. So from September of 2010 till today I have been using those skills to research how to be a better wife after realizing that I had a lot to learn about roles in a marriage. I decided of course that the best route to do that would be to find out what my religion, Islam, says about marital responsibilities, rights, behavior, etc.

I also read books like “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” “The Surrendered Wife” and “Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus." It was amazing to find Western authors like these preaching the same ideals as Islam did. For example respecting your husband, putting your household as your first priority, showing gratitude and admiration to your husband, etc. All concepts that you might call traditional…that take you back to the basics of marriage.

It can be very easy, once a person has settled into marriage to become controlling, criticizing, unloving and disrespectful. But it is very important to realize that these are the things that destroy relationships.

How many of you, going into marriage, thought that you were going to marry your best friend, get along perfectly, and live happily ever after? If you answered yes but got disappointed after the honeymoon was over, don't worry I'm sure you're not alone. I think that there are three things that can get in the way of living happily ever after with your husband: going into marriage with high, fantastical expectations, each person not knowing their roles and rights as described in Islam, and thirdly, not acknowledging and understanding that each gender is drastically different and have different needs and ways of communication.

I was watching Oprah in an interview with Barbara Walters the other day and Barbara asked her why her and her boyfriend of about 20 years never got married and why she never wants to...she simply answered, "If Stedman and I married we probably would have gotten divorced...Because with marriage there are expectations..."
Funny thing is, it doesn't have to be that way. Our religion was built as a way of life not just as a spiritual concept. And if each person tries to perfect their life using Islamic guidance, there is no doubt that by abiding to the recipe God has prescribed for us, we should be alright. After all, he created us and thus gave us the rules to live by to have the best life possible.

In this website you will find a list of the duties and responsibilities that are assigned to each spouse under Islam, 100 tips that wives should live by according to several relationship experts, a blog with useful information, great resources about marriage, and much more.

I tried my best to only include information that I found to be credible and consistent throughout several sources. And I hope Allah can forgive me for any shortcomings or mistakes that I make in regards to giving incorrect information.
Disclaimer:

Wise Wives is for women who want to enhance the quality of their marriages based on Islamic and progressive psychological principles.

Together, and with Allah’s guidance, we discover ways to become better wives to build a happy, peaceful and rewarding life with our husbands.

Wise Wives principles are meant for wives in an already healthy, non-abusive, relationship!

We acknowledge that each marriage and household has its own dynamics and culture, and we hope that you take away whatever it is that you feel is useful for your specific circumstances.
Why Wise Wives, and not Wise Husbands?

Are you asking yourself this question? Why is this a group just focusing on the work that the wife has to do?

Let me tell you.

Women were built as nurturers. We foster our relationships much better than any man can. Not only can we navigate all the personal connections in our lives, we hold the power necessary to make others, especially our husbands, adore us. We truly are the “necks” of our families, while the men are the “heads.”

Men are straightforward beings. They deal in black and white, while women deal in all shades of gray. A man’s uncomplicated nature leads him to have an automatic response to the gestures we make to enhance the relationship.

Nancy C. Anderson, author of "Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome" says, “Treat him like a king, and eventually, he will begin to treat you like a queen."

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, author of the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," responds to critics who ask, “Will there be a sequel to this book…The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives?

“No way,” she says. "What would I do in a sequel? There's nothing there…Women are more emotionally complicated, sensitive and difficult. Men are pretty simple for the most part. When men get affection and approval, they jump through hoops!"

She believes that women are at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for.

Click here for a thorough and thought provoking attempt to answer this question, written by a member with feedback, advice, and a summary of what she’s learned from Wise Wives.