In Islam, men and women are created equal...but definitely not the same! Not only are their rights and responsibilities dissimilar, the ways they feel, think, communicate, and deal with the world are different as well. In the popular book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus by author John Gray, the notion that men and women are as different as beings from other planets is strongly asserted. Therefore men and women need to recognize and appreciate these differences and stop expecting the other to act the same way they do in order to be able to cope with each other and live side by side.
Some of the most common glitches in marriages can come from the misunderstanding that men and women are the same.
Some of the biggest differences outlined in this book include:
-Deep inside every man is a knight in shining armour seeking a damsel in distress who will love him, and shower him with trust, respect, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement AND deep inside every woman is a damsel in distress seeking a knight in shining armour who will love her, and shower her with caring, understanding, devotion, validation, and reassurance.
-Men love to have their abilities recognised and appreciated, and hate to have them scorned or ignored AND women love to have their feelings recognised and appreciated, and hate to have them scorned or ignored.
-Men like to work on their own, and exercise their abilities by solving problems quickly and singlehandedly AND women like to co-operate, and exercise their feelings through interactive communication with one another.
-Men value solutions, and view unsolicited assistance as undermining their effort to solve problems alone AND women value assistance, and view unsolicited solutions as undermining their effort to proceed interactively.
-Men desire that their solutions will be appreciated AND women desire that their assistance will be appreciated.
-When men do communicate, they like to get to the point, and generally only want to listen if they feel the conversation has a point AND women enjoy talking for its own sake, and are happy to listen unconditionally.
-A man's instinct is to look after himself, even if it means sacrificing others AND a woman's instinct is to look after others, even if it means sacrificing herself.
-In a relationship, a man has to learn how to care for his partner rather than sacrificing her needs in favour of his own AND a woman has to learn how to be cared for by her partner rather than sacrificing her own needs in favour of his, so that the needs of both are met.
-In a relationship, a man needs to feel that his attentions are needed AND a woman needs to feel that her needs are attended.
-Men withdraw until they find a solution to a problem, they retreat into their cave AND women simply need their partner to listen to her, constantly reassure her of his love/commitment/monogamy or take a few chores off her back.
-Men feel loved if their efforts at giving are appreciated AND women feel loved according to what they receive.
In her book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura Schlessinger says that today the notion that men and women are inherently different is often challenged. Society tries to make both men and women unisex. But men are happiest being men, and women are happiest being women, with few exceptions. The differences start to manifest themselves very early. In one study a barrier was placed between 1 year-old babies and their mothers. What did the little boys do? They attempted to get around the barrier or knock it down. The little girls? They cried until their mothers picked them up. Men tend to respond to things physically, women verbally.
In fact, the two sexes are just right for each other.
2. Equal, But Not The Same
Posted on January 4th, 2011
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