12. Intimate Behavior

Posted on April 27th, 2011

Eight great tips to help restore and maintain intimacy in marriage from Idealmuslimah.com:

Islaam gave us detailed instructions that identify rights, responsibilities and characters of both husband and wife to build their relationship on mutual love, respect, and mercy. The following are the most important tips that lead to a successful and happy marriage.

1. Faith: Common faith binds the couple strongly. Since Islaam is a way of life, it becomes an integral part of a Muslim's life. Couples with strong faith will share the same values and the frame of reference and communicate smoothly and effectively. Faith plays an essential role in developing a loving relationship.

Couples who work on strengthening their faith, for example by performing the Prayer, reading Qur’aan, and seeking Islamic knowledge together, become closer. They love and please Allaah through loving and pleasing each other. The commitments couples make to Allaah are excellent facilitators for enhancing their family's spiritual development as well as their commitment to Allaah and His Religion.

2. Forgiving: When the Prophet (may Allaah exalt his mention) said to his Companions (may Allaah be pleased with them), "Do you wish that Allaah should forgive you?" They said, 'Of course, O Prophet of Allaah!' He (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) responded, 'Then forgive each other.'

One of the main components of a happy marriage is forgiveness. It is a challenge not to blame and to move past an incident when one hurts the other. This can only happen if we are not too proud to ask for forgiveness and we are not too stingy to forgive.

3. Friendship: A relationship based on friendship is more able to withstand outside pressures. We mean the friendship that is based on honor, trust, respect, acceptance and care for each other, in spite of our differences.

4. Feelings: Couples must be very careful not to hurt the feelings of each other and if they inadvertently do, they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one does not know when someone they love will leave this world, is it not better to make amends when we still have time?

5. Openness: Marital relationship is where the partners must feel safe to speak their mind honestly with due consideration to the other's feeling, without compromising their own views. When the communication is not sincere it hinders the development of closeness and deep understanding of each other's inner self.

6. Flattering: Paving compliments and indulging in honest flattery is a very inexpensive way to win your spouse’s heart. Everyone likes to be appreciated and noticed. So being scant with compliments is actually depriving one of being appreciated in return.

7. Unconditional giving: The heart does not put conditions or make stipulations. It gives without expecting anything in return, but such selfless giving is always rewarded tenfold.

8. Fallibility: When couples start to demand the impossible they must remind themselves that only Allaah (the Glorious and Lofty) is Perfect.


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