Below you will find a list of suggested duties and responsibilites of each spouse. These are according to different Ayahs (Quranic verses) and standards of Islam and society.

This is simply a list. A raw list, void of details, social implications, and explanations. For that please click on the words or phrases that are underlined and they will take you to blog entries, external websites, videos, etc. that better explain these ideas.

These will continue to be updated as we aquire more information.

1. The husband must give his wife the marriage gift/dowry. A marriage contract is not considered legal and complete unless a dowry has been specified. This right cannot be forfeited, even if the bride approves, until after the marriage contract is completed. She has the freedom to do whatever she wants with it.

Allah says: “You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably” (4:4).

2. The husband must give proper and sufficient sustenance/financial support to his household according to his status and means. The wife should receive full maintenance from her husband including food, clothing, housing, education, recreation, medication etc. Even if the wife is rich, she does not need to spend anything on her husband or household.

Allah says: “Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship ease” (65:7).

Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because what Allah has given one over the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” (4:34).

3. A husband must be kind to his wife. His behavior towards her is a measure of his faith.

Allah says: “Consort with women in kindness" (4:19).

Allah says: “Among His signs is that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect" (30:21).

Allah says: “It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her in love" (7:189).

Allah says: “They (wives) are your garments and you are their garments” (2:187).

4. A husband cannot ask his wife to do anything that is against Islam.

5. He must exercise patience and should be prepared to listen to his wife’s opinions in every situation. The Prophet (pbuh) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.

6. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs as she will respect him and pay attention to his.

7. If the wife works outside the house, it is admirable for the husband to hire help to relieve her from the burden of housework.

8. A husband must avoid excessive jealousy.

9. A husband must not beat his wife. The Prophet (pbuh) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. If a husband beats his wife to the extent of inflicting serious injury, it is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from a judge.

10. He must never ever divulge the secrets of his household or marriage.

11. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (pbuh) is reported to have said: “The best gift or charity is that spent on one's wife.”

12. The wife has the right to live in separate accommodation with her husband and children if she does not want to share it with anyone like her in-laws or relatives.

13. It is the obligation of the husband to make sure that his wife acquires all the Islamic knowledge, like how to pray, how to fast etc., that is obligatory for her to learn. If this means that he has to spend money on resources, then he must do so.

14. A husband must protect his wife’s honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. This includes in interactions with the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.

15. The husband should not stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a prolonged period of time except with her consent.

Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129).

16. A husband must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter.
1. A wife should listen to her husband's ideas and requests, be respectful towards him, and be eager to please him and make him happy.

Allah says: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” (2:228).

Allah says: “As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) tap them (lightly, if it is useful)” (4:34). Watch this video for more clarification as to what is meant by this Ayah.

2. A wife should not allow anyone to enter their home without her husband’s permission. She also should not leave her house without his knowledge in order to maintain safety and knowledge of each ones whereabouts.

3. Wives are expected to ask their husband’s permission before doing nawafil (voluntary acts of worship) that may conflict with his rights, such as observing nawafil fasts.

4. A wife, as well as the husband, should put effort in maintaining their physical beauty.

5. A wife should help her husband to worship Allah.

6. A wife should be tolerant and forgiving. She shouldn’t bear a grudge against him or remind him about his mistakes often. There is no quality that will endear her to her husband like the quality of tolerance and forgiveness, and there is nothing that will turn her husband against her like resentment, counting faults and reminding him about his mistakes.

Allah says: “Let them forgive and overlook, do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” (24:22)

7. A wife should take responsibility for her husband’s wealth, not spending without his permission and being careful not to be wasteful.

8. A wife expresses respect towards her husband by honoring and respecting his family, especially his mother. She helps him to honor and respect his mother by doing the same.

9. A wife cannot disclose her husband’s secrets, and cannot talk to anyone about their secrets and other matters there may be between him and her.

10. Wives are expected to help her husband in dealing with the outside world and to play her role in life by offering her opinions and advice, and supporting him in all his affairs. She never hesitates to stand by his side, encouraging him, supporting him and offering advice and consolation.

11. A wife should show gratitude to her husband.